“There are only four kinds of people in the world — those who have been caregivers, those who are caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.” Former First Lady, Rosalynn Carter
No matter who we are or where we come from, caregiving touches every one of us. And yet, in the rush to tend to everyone else’s needs, one truth often goes unspoken:Caregivers need care, too.
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November is traditionally a month of gratitude and gathering, but it is alsoNational Family Caregivers MonthandDiabetes Awareness Month— two observances that remind us how deeply health, family, stress, and responsibility are intertwined. According to the CDC, African Americans have an age-adjusted diabetes mortality rate of more than 40 percent. Nearly40% of caregivers identify as BIPOC, and within our communities, caregiving begins younger, lasts longer, and often comes with higher emotional and financial strain.
@media ( min-width: 300px ){.newspack_global_ad.scaip-1{min-height: 100px;}}@media ( min-width: 728px ){.newspack_global_ad.scaip-1{min-height: 90px;}}This reality came into sharp focus for me earlier this year.
On August 2, I had the privilege of presenting my workshop“Nourishing the Nurturer”at the inauguralMPT Caregiver Expo. You can watch replay here: You can watch the replayhere. Caregiver Expo – What I expected to be another speaking engagement became something much more profound. The stories, exhaustion, hope, and resilience in that room felt familiar — because like so many, I, too, have been on a caregiving journey. Mine began with a phone call from my college roommate in Texas:blood clots, emergency surgery, intensive care. For more than a year, during the height of COVID, I became her long-distance caregiver — splitting my time between Maryland and Texas, hospitals and home, fear and faith.
That experience taught me something essential:It was only because I took the time to care for my own physical and mental, that my ability to care for her was not compromised.
@media ( min-width: 300px ){.newspack_global_ad.scaip-2{min-height: 100px;}}@media ( min-width: 728px ){.newspack_global_ad.scaip-2{min-height: 90px;}}And that theme only deepened last week at Maryland Hall in Annapolis at theWe C.A.R.E. Conference™, a transformational event created byShari Bailey, founder ofLaila’s Gift®, a nonprofit honoring families of all abilities. We C.A.R.E. — which stands forCaregivers, Advocates, Resources & Education— brought families, professionals, and community partners into one powerful space of learning and renewal. I had the honor of hosting a panel of caregivers whose stories reminded me why this work is so urgent.
There wasMichael Nash, co-founder of Laila’s Gift®, who cares for both his daughter and an aging parent.Mackenzie Wardrope, whose daughter Adelaide lives with the rare SCN8A condition.Bobby Anderson, a father navigating complex medical systems for his twin sons.Robert Haines, the devoted father of a nonverbal autistic adult son. AndFranchón Crews-Dezurn, Baltimore’s own undisputed Super Middleweight Boxing Champion, who cared for her mother for more than a decade while fighting — literally and figuratively — for her family.
When I spoke with Franchón a few days after the conference, she shared candidly how caregiving forced her to prioritize her own well-being. Her reflections were raw, real, and deeply resonant. Here are a few insights that stayed with me.
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“There were moments when things gotdire— life-or-death dire — and I couldn’t fall apart in front of my mother. Even when everything in me wanted to crumble, I had to stand there, look her in her eyes, and choose strength. Caregiving wasn’t gentle. It was a fight. And some days, it felt like I was fightingfor her life.”
2. On Learning the Difference Between Fighting to Win and Fighting to Survive
@media ( min-width: 300px ){.newspack_global_ad.scaip-4{min-height: 100px;}}@media ( min-width: 728px ){.newspack_global_ad.scaip-4{min-height: 90px;}}“In boxing, you fight to win. You go in with a strategy, with confidence, with a plan. But caregiving? Caregiving taught me what it means tofight to survive— to fight because somebody else’s life depends on your strength. That’s a different kind of battle.”
3. The Toll of Being Strong All the Time
“People see a champion and think I’m always strong. But caregiving showed me my limits. It taught me that strength isn’t about never breaking — it’s about knowing when you need help, too.”
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“When I was drained or breaking down, he would look at me and say, ‘Get yourself together. I got your back. I’ll take care of it.’ Those words kept me going. Caregivers need someone who reminds them they’re not alone.”
5. What Her Mother’s Final Moments Taught Her
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6. How Caregiving Shaped Her Identity Beyond Boxing
“Boxing made me a champion. But caregiving made me a warrior. One day, you’re in the ring fighting an opponent. The next, you’re in a hospital fighting for someone you love. You learn quickly that both require heart, discipline, and faith.”
7. The Reason Self-Care Became Non-Negotiable
“I realized that if I didn’t take care of myself, I couldn’t take care of her. You can’t pour from an empty cup — but caregivers try to every day. I had to learn that choosing myself wasn’t selfish. It was survival.”
Hearing Franchón speak so openly about the emotional, physical, and spiritual weight of caregiving brought me back to the larger truth at the heart of this work: caregivers carry enormous responsibility, often without support, rest, or acknowledgment. Her story is deeply personal, but it’s also universal — reflecting what so many caregivers across Maryland and the nation face every single day.
The Caregiving Burden on Black Families
Caregiving takes a toll on anyone, but it lands especially hard on Black families. We face:
Higher Intensity Care
Black caregivers often provide more hours of unpaid care per week than any other demographic group.
Younger Caregiver Age
Many of us begin our caregiving years earlier, often while juggling young children, jobs, and aging parents.
Financial and Systemic Barriers
From medical discrimination to lack of culturally competent care, too many caregivers feel unseen, unheard, and unsupported. Many operate in a constant state of crisis — one unexpected bill away from collapse.
Isolation
More than a fourth of African American caregivers report havingno one— no neighbor, friend, or family member — who can offer support.
Health Consequences
The emotional strain of caregiving is profound. Chronic stress contributes to burnout, depression, and increased health risks, including diabetes, hypertension, and immune suppression.
And yet, we continue. Not because we have to, but because love calls us to show up.
Community Support Is Growing — But More Is Needed
Maryland is home to several strong caregiver resources:
Maryland Commission on CaregivingLocal county support programsMaryland Community First Choice (through Medicaid)Alzheimer’s Association, Greater Maryland ChapterBlack Nurses Association of BaltimoreAnd important culturally rooted organizations are doing critical work:
Binti Circle
An intergenerational community founded byDawnita Brown, created specifically for Black daughters caring for their mothers.
Coffee, Tea & Me (CTAM)
Founded byShirl Parnell, CTAM provides a safe and celebratory space for caregivers, particularly those who often feel overlooked in their roles.
These organizations remind us that caregivers deserve a sense of community. They deserve nourishment. And they deserve to be seen.
Because You Can’t Pour From an Empty Cup
If you are a caregiver, this is your reminder:
Your needs matter. Your rest matters. Your well-being is not optional.
And when we care for ourselves — when we feed our bodies, nurture our emotions, set boundaries, and seek support — we show up stronger for the people who depend on us.
That’s why I createdThe Caregiver’s Nourishment Kit— a gentle, practical workbook designed as a soft-landing place for the people who give so much and receive so little. Inside, you’ll find:
It is both a companion and a lifeline — a reminder that you are worthy of the same care you give so freely.
A Call to Baltimore Organizations
My work — from keynote speaking to workshops to panel facilitation — is dedicated to transforming how communities understand and support caregivers. If your organization serves families, seniors, professionals, or health-focused audiences,this is the moment to bring this conversation forward.
I am available for:
Caring for the Caregiver workshopsPanel facilitationHealing-through-writing sessionsCommunity conversationsStaff wellness eventsCaregivers hold our communities together. It’s time we hold them, too.
Download Your Free Resource
If you or someone you love is a caregiver, I invite you to download your complimentary copy ofThe Caregiver’s Nourishment Kit:
https://go.michellepetties.com/caregiversnourishmentkit
Because caring for others begins with caring for you.
